Do you see yourself
Do you see yourself
As I stand in the mirror and reflect on myself I envision the little girl that needs healing from missing her father, a little girls that was violated traumatized and strip of her childhood and was haunted by those memories, a little girl who was told not to tell by the perpetrator who wanted the little girl to feel like it was her fault and she asked for it. A little girl who was not healed from the lack of receiving love from her mother because she was a crack head, a little girl who was made to feel less than because she did not come from the best homes and did not dress the best. A little girl whose cries went unheard and her voice was made to be silent. A little girl who was left to defend for herself because she had no one to fight for her, a little girl who was bullied and no one felt her pain on the inside, a little girl who had to hide who she was for feeling of being judged. A little girl who was told she would never be nothing or good enough, that she was stupid and ignorant. A little girl who was not loved.
I am Healing the little girl
I am Healing the Teenager
The teenager who carried the baggage over from the little girl, who now has developed and feel that she is not pretty, her self esteem has been snatched she has no confidence, the teenager who is wounded and broken, the teenager who was told she was just like her no good mother and would never be anything, the teenager that did not fit in because she was never taught to be herself and love herself, the teenager who is still being violated and scared to tell, the teenager who got pregnant before marriage and she was frowned upon, the teenager who became a street walker because she had to flea from a house that was not a home and ended up with a person taking advantage of her weakness, the teenager who is struggling with her sexuality but has no one in her corner, The teenager who is struggling in school because she is angry and no one understands why, The teenager who no longer has self confidence and her self esteem is gone, The teenager who has now become suicidal and she feels invisible.
The adult that carried all the baggage over from the little girl to the teenager, the adult who is angry because she is misunderstood, the adult that is timid and does not love herself, the adult that can’t look at herself in the mirror because she see the scars from the black eyes, busted lip and swollen face, the adult that is still trapped in being the little girl, the adult that still longs for her father and the motherly love, the adult that was never shown any love therefore she does not know how to give love or receive love, the adult that thinks the abuse is a form of love, the adult that cannot be by herself because she is dependent on others for her survival, the adult that does not know how to get her voice back, the adult that battles the demons from within on a daily basis, the adult that feels guilty of her past not realizing it was not her fault, The adult that is prideful and refuses to acknowledge she needs help, The adult floating through life shutdown and disconnected.
I am Healing the Adult
I stand in the mirror to reflect on the challenges of life, my experiences, my hurts, pains and disappointment. I have had ups and downs I have fought with myself for myself. I have been lied to mistreated, demeaned and my voice stolen. I have been made to feel less than I was, I have given up my worth. I have stayed in situations when they were not healthy. I’ve let time go by not realizing it was passing while I was stuck in my own world. But today I am releasing it all and I am fighting for me to be whole from the inside out, no longer will I look in the mirror of my past and dwell there. I am a conqueror, I am strong, I am powerful and I have a voice. I do not have to settle, I am worth the best
I AM HEALED
People look at the color of my skin and they think to themselves, I shouldn't be proud of who I am they think that there words should define who I am in the beauty of my skin or who they want me to be. You talk about the darkness of my skin yet you try to get your skin to look like my skin. I love who I am despite of what you say, my beauty is deep and the dark color will never go away. Love me for who I am or let me be; the beauty of this black skin is apart of me. Your nasty words and your ugly stares are ways to make me feel less than I am but I say to those who don't love my black beauty I don't give a damn, I will walk in confidence because this is what God made me to be, so I walk with my head held high and full of pride for the black beauty that I wear with pride, I am confident and I am strong my blackness is beautiful. You have the problem with the color of my skin I could care less what you think of me neither will your dislike of my skin make or break me. I was born with this beautiful chocolate skin, it doesn't crack or fade, so if you feel some type of way as it relates to the color of my skin, who gives a damn. My black is amazing deal with it!
I walk in my light and no ones shadow, I walk in my destiny with pride of who I have become and my head held high.