White picket fence, good paying job, 2 cars, 2 kids, dog and a hardworking husband.
That was always my idea of "A perfect life" and to be perfectly honest to a certain degree, it still is.
In fact, this is true for most of us. We've been conditioned to think that having the perfect family, perfect kids and perfect marriage (if one exist) adds value to who we are. Well I'm here to tell you, IT DOES NOT!
"For I am fearfully and wonderfully made"
Even having all of the above mentioned I found myself, unhappy, lonely and missing something. I secretly endured those voids for a number of years. Praying things would get better.
"Girl, you're tripping that man loves you" they said.
"You make marriage look so easy, "they said.....
"You have the perfect marriage" "they said......
I mean honestly, I second guessed myself at times and thought I was tripping. I couldn't possibly end a seemingly happy marriage, split the family and maintain life on my own.....Could I? I mean, no one gets married to get divorced. No one wants to have a failed marriage. What would people think? How would our children feel? Most importantly, what would God say? I've replayed these questions over and over and over until one day it hit me, after months of praying, fasting and of course a few therapy sessions, I needed to do what was best for ME.
As difficult as it was to let go of the very thing/person that validated me for so many years, it was inevitable.
Nothing about the transition was easy trust me, but I'm a firm believer of "Growing thru what you GO through". I've learned to love me, unconditionally and without bounds. Don't get me wrong, MARRIAGE is certainly beautiful blessing and I intend to do it again at some point. The difference now is, I've learned that my happiness is just as important as anyone else's. I'll never, ever sacrifice that.